


run program: hot potato

by whitchry9



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humour, bot speak, idek okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1985469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hulk likes lighting fires. Dum-E likes putting them out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	run program: hot potato

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt is over here: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19458.html?thread=45561346#t45561346

* * *

Dum-E

* * *

 

 

 

run program: recognition

unit designation Hulk (warning green angry careful leave alone don't touch look out heavy step on crush)

 

alert: sensors detect heat

     if: unit designation Tony (welding)

         unit designation Tony (candles)

         ...

     then: safe

alert: no if/then

alert: fire

 

protocol identified: fire

     run program: fire extinguisher

 

successful execution of program: fire extinguisher

     outcome: fire out

 

alert: sensors detect heat

     if: unit designation Tony (welding)

         unit designation Tony (candles)

         ...

     then: safe

alert: no if/then

alert: fire

 

protocol identified: fire

     run program: fire extinguisher

 

unsuccessful execution of program: fire extinguisher

     outcome: fire still

protocol identified: fire 2

     run program: fire extinguisher 2

 

successful execution of program: fire extinguisher 2

     outcome: fire out

 

protocol identified: find source

     run program: hot potato

     running...

     running...

 

alert: sensors detect heat

 

     running...

successful execution of program: hot potato

     source of heat: unit designation Hulk

 

alert: sensors detect heat

 

protocol identified: unsupervised Hulk

     run program: Hulk TV

     execute: television on (1. Dora; 2. nature documentaries; 3. channel 44)

 

successful execution of program: Hulk TV (version 1)

     outcome: unit designation Hulk (no if/then) source of heat; unit designation Hulk

 

protocol identified: fire

     run program: fire extinguisher

 

successful execution of program: fire extinguisher

 

_status report Dum-E?_

 

unit designation JARVIS (boss safe friend brother master listen good smart)

     run program: status report

 

successful execution of programs: fire extinguisher, fire extinguisher 2, hot potato, Hulk TV

unsuccessful execution of program: fire extinguisher

 

protocol identified: environmental check

     run program: all sensors

results: no heat (if/then) no fire

             foam (schedule to run program: clean)

             unit designation Hulk mood: not smashing (if/then) good

             no abnormal results (if/then) fine

 

query: do good?

 

_Very good Dum-E. Don't forget to clean up the foam. Sir will be down soon to collect Dr Banner._

 

protocol identified: good Dum-E

     run program: happy

 

successful execution of program: happy

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

Hulk

* * *

 

 

Hulk like fire. Fire pretty, with lights. Fire can't hurt Hulk.

Puny robot makes fire go out.

Smash robot?

No, metal man likes robots. Sad if robot hurt. Mad at Hulk.

Hulk likes metal man. No make sad.

 

Hulk make more fire instead.

Hulk have tool. Makes spark. Pretty spark. Makes fire. Pretty.

Puny robot put fire out. Again.

No. Try. Fail.

Robot try more.

Robot put fire out.

Hulk sad. Fire pretty colours.

 

Hulk make new fire.

Puny robot make screen come on. Magic.

Hulk like that show. Map and Backpack.

Hulk watch.

Puny robot is smart.

Robot put fire out.

Hulk okay. Help girl go to house.

No swiping!

Metal man come soon. Then eat food.

Hulk happy.

 


End file.
